Saturday, September 30, 2006

What part of 'I agree' don't you understand?












For various reasons, Jan hadn't been to Sommieres' market for a while and fancied a chat (she doesn't get out much!). We headed, as usual, for Les Delices de Liban, after first buying gallettes from Elie's other venture across the square. Bryan and Peter were already ensconced, Bryan with a beer and unusually Peter had had a coffee, and we were shortly joined by Gill, Bryan's better half and Jan's painting partner. Anyway, the atmosphere at these get-togethers is always good with people buying rounds and sharing food. I can't mention buying rounds without acknowledging that Peter bought his share. Whilst I'm the first to have a go at him, I have to applaud this long overdue generosity. Thank you Peter. I, on the other hand, failed to buy anything, and I felt ashamed (for about 30 seconds - Ed.). The photos above reflect the bustle of the market and our get together, and in particular, one of Peter to mark the momentous occasion. From the top, 'Olivier's' a great deli, the motley crew drinking at Elie's with appropriate music (incidentally the accordionist drives a Merc), Elie, left, standing outside his resto/bar which was famously used as a set in the film Jeanne de Florette, my beautiful Jan and, my not so beautiful, Peter.

***

So there we were having a pre-dinner drink when there came a knock at the door. At 19.00 on a Saturday night it had to be one of two people, who would need 'topping up' for the night. But no, it was Mr E and his son. Whilst Mr E and son are nice enough, they give the word 'anal' a bad name. Anyway, the son said to me, "have you instructed a geometre as I told you to?" Let me pause for a moment and give you some background before I wax lyrical about this little peanut. A year or two ago, Mr E senior came fussing about the position of our mutual fence, which was connected to a dispute he was having with the neighbouring owners on other sides. We share a boundary marker, a borne, with Mr E and he wants to establish where it is. We found it, but according to him, it wasn't where it was supposed to be. I said to him at the time that I couldn't give a shit and he could put it wherever he wanted. With the benefit of hindsight this was a very good tactic because he couldn't argue. Anyway, a month ago, E junior came to the fence and rambled on about something, and again I said to him that he could put the marker wherever he wanted and that would be fine by me. These anal peanuts are not used to people agreeing with them and so he went off chuntering about something.
Back to their visit tonight. E junior asked me what the geometre that I was supposed to have instructed said. At this point I lost my cool and told them both unequivocally that I couldn't give a shit where the borne was and if they wanted it marking officially then they should pay an expert. Hell would freeze over before I put my hand in my pocket. They were worried, but I wasn't. In the meantime they could decide where they wanted it and I would agree with that decision. I just couldn't get it into their thick heads that I didn't care and that I wasn't going to argue with them. E senior however began to see the light, albeit slowly, and we trudged out to search for the offending article. Needless to say, we couldn't now find it (I'll explain why on my deathbed) and we all agreed, after I had shouted some more common sense at them, that if they came back tomorrow with tape measures, we could triangulate the position with precise measurements and save having to pay an expert. E senior liked the tone of my suggestion because he was already in court with one of his neighbours and I suspected that he was paying more than enough in lawyers fees. Dealing with these people is like taking sweets off a baby. Part two tomorrow?

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