Blame

This pretty much sums up what's wrong with the world. What was it that Kennedy said?

Cara

Last night we met up at a Thai restaurant in Maidenhead (it was good and they're all ticked off now) with my daughter Cara, before she sets off next month on a work sabbatical to Africa and India. She intends to spend three months in each continent, travelling and getting involved in voluntary work. Her request and justification for the time off (she works for a major American software house) was brilliant and made me very proud. I sincerely hope she has a safe journey.

We return to France tomorrow morning with a very early flight from Luton. As we come to the end of this trip we agreed that we should make no plans for our last day. If you're away from home and plan to do nothing all day it is so much more effective as a 'day off' than similar time at home because at home there are always jobs to do. So often we cram too much into a trip so that when we get home we need to chill because we are so tired. With any luck this trip will be different. We shall she.

You looking at my yurt?

I've seen the yurt. Or, to be more precise, we attended a post nuptial party at J & H's yesterday, that was held in a yurt. Cool or what. It made a change from your traditional marquee, in fact it made a huge change. In a marquee you normally get to sit on a chair, at a table. There's nothing as fancy as that with a yurt. With a yurt you get to sit on cushions, on the floor, in a decadent Roman orgy kind of way. I threw my keys into the centre several times but nothing happened (I wonder why? - Ed)

Trouble is, I managed to get down OK but when Jan sent me on an errand (for her third helping of chicken, I think) I had trouble getting up. And, by the time I'd eventually heaved my sylph like frame from the floor, I'd forgotten what I'd set out for. Bugger.

Still, it was an excellent 'do', enlivened by one particular single lady who decided that she needed a man. Me and my new found buddy decided to help her find one and had a lot of fun drafting a suitable 'advert' and giving her lots of 'suitable' advice. A great deal of wine (or was it fermented yak's milk?) had flowed by this time. Excellent.

Man flu

I knew it, I've got swine flu. Well, OK I've got a runny nose. I never have a runny nose! It's so bloody cold here you're bound to catch something. I've even started sneezing, which is also something I never do. Jeans and t-shirt weather it ain't, but that's all I've got. Bugger.

Last night, after a long wait, we got a decent Chinese meal. We've got a curry lined up for tonight, a Thai meal on Sunday, so somehow we had to squeeze in a Chinese. Bingo, got that one out of the way. Nobody searches out and eats good ethnic food as efficiently as we do.

Today was all about taking a lovely, 92 years old lady out for lunch, followed by a little (well actually a lot) of retail therapy at Marks and Spencer to buy some warm clothes.

We need to know

Tell me Elisabetta, what first attracted you to the multi millionaire Flavio Briatore?

From your motoring correspondent

I don't know about you, but I've always been very suspicious of cars like Kia, Daewoo etc. or basically anything that comes out of Korea. On this trip Hertz 'upgraded' me to a Kia Ceed and my first thought was it's a pile of shit and because I'm returning the car to Luton they're happy to get rid of it.

However, first impressions are good. It's a nice little car, it's comfortable, moves well, is reasonably well equipped and, it has a seven year warranty, which means that it will live longer than me (most things will live longer than you - Ed).

I don't know what they cost, or much else about the car, but if you're happy to see it become worthless the minute you put the key in the door and are happy to drive it into the ground, then it might not be a bad buy. It's worth checking out.

Having landed in Leeds, I'd arranged to meet Jan at Luton airport (don't ask) and it was a good journey. Unless of course you count the endless roadworks and the violent hailstorm that I drove through on the way down the M1. Oh yes, and the hailstorm that soaked me and battered my forehead as I walked from the car park to the terminal. Such joy.

Harrogate

'Ello from a cold and wet 'Arrogate. With the temperature at 15C, it's exactly half of what we left 2 hours ago. Still, can't complain, it's quite refreshing.
Look, I don't want to put any ideas in your heads but having accompanied mum back from Girona, with wheelchair assistance, I gotta tell you that you don't half get good treatment. You get pushed around in a wheelchair (don't forget that some Ryanair gates are miles away), you get to the front of every queue, no waiting, and you even get assistance with a hydraulic lift on and off the plane with your own entrance. Good eh?
To top it all, we also got great service from Hertz. I had mum in a wheelchair and a trolley load of luggage. No problem said the nice Hertz lady. She sent a man to get the car and another assistant pushed mum out in the rain whilst I pushed the luggage. Good eh? All this for another few quid. It felt like a good deal to me!
Ah well, it's off for fish and chips tonight. Things just get better and better.

Can Barris

Hola from a sunny Barcelona. Needing to get from Girona to Leeds later this week, we decided to take a couple of days R&R before the flight (Your life is one permanent R&R - Ed). This kills several birds with one stone. Mum has a nice break to her stay and gets to stay in Barcelona before flying back, we all get to see Paula, Ben and the delightful Kate and, more importantly, I get to eat arroz negro on the seafront in Sitges. Everybody's happy!

We do seem to get lucky with restaurants. On the drive to Barca we headed for Can Xiguet a good restaurant about 7 kilometers from the airport. We got there and found that it was shut for the holidays but I noticed another place that we had passed that had a very full car park.

What a good find. If you like snails then this is the place for you. But since I'd given up eating snot when I was two, I (we) settled for some other food. And very good it was too. Can Barris is just a bit closer to the airport than Can Xiguet and I'd recommend either of them unreservedly.

To get to either of them, leave the AP 7 at junction 8 (the airport turnoff) and head towards Cassa. Can Barris is about 6 Kms on the right and Can Xiguet about a kilometer further on.

The evil eye

Jan blames me for lots of things, but I'm sort of getting used to it. You'd be amazed at the problems I cause. Like the other day when she jumped a Stop sign. How was I to know that sitting quietly, scrunched up in my seat, waiting for the impact was going to make her drive through a Stop sign. It turns out that I make her nervous, so it's my fault, it's always my bloody fault. This ability to avoid accepting responsibilty for your actions is a very English thing. Still, I've got broad shoulders.

Well, now this problem has extended to my mother. We were eating at a pretty lousy Chinese resto in Nimes the other day (I know that all Chinese restaurants are lousy in Nimes, but someone said to give it a try) when my mother turned to me and said, "You're giving me indigestion." That was a new one. When I burst out laughing she turned to Jan and said, "It's his gaze."

So there you have it. Next time I look at you, have the bloody Gaviscon handy.

Parlez-vous Francaise?

Thanks to Peter for this.

Minnie

Last night Minnie started to paw her eye and it became very swollen and eventually shut. It was no better this morning so we took her off to the vet. It took three of us to hold her but she let the vet examine her eye. The picture above is what she managed to extract. A piece of thorn about 2 cms long. Bless.

The vet mentioned that she was seeing about 10 of these a day, buried in various parts of dogs' bodies. Grief.

Why I don't like cricket

In my youth, I used to watch cricket at Hedingley (I'm surprised that you can remember - Ed). Or, should I say I tried to watch cricket. I remember one test match where I sat there for three hours, bent down to pick up something off the floor, and missed the only action of the day. Bugger!

And today? I was watching the last day of the match between England and Australia, which was quite exciting, when Jan called me for lunch. I walked out to the terrace and, as I did so, Australia lost a wicket. As I ate lunch they lost another. I don't have much luck with this game! They don't deserve my support.

The last letter home

I read this, this morning and admit that it made me cry.

Golf fable from Yorkshire

Thanks to Will for this.