Flying monsters

So there I was thinking that my advancing age had finally taken control of my life. I had received a reminder for a phone bill which I had no recollection of receiving. France Telecom are a pretty unforgiving bunch and will cut you off quickly if you are not careful, so I paid the reminder and decided to sort it out later. Imagine the scene:

Me, "Darling, you haven't seen a phone bill lately have you?"
She, indignantly, "No I haven't, that's your department!"
Me, "Well I've just received a reminder for a bill that we have never received. Bloody France Telecom!"
She, rustling through pile of papers on her desk, "Oh, what's this?"

The moral of the story chaps is that you are not getting old and senile, you just need to look on your wife's desk to get your life back in order.

***

From time to time small birds fly into the house and because of our very high ceilings they can be a bit of a problem to get rid of. This morning, Jan's shrieks alerted me to the fact that we had been invaded (by monsters) again. It was a redstart, which we get lots of around here. Anyway, the poor little thing flew round and round and eventually knocked itself out trying to get out of a window that we hadn't yet got round to opening. I picked it up and noticed that it was blind in one eye, which probably explains why it was flying round in circles. (You're such a joker - Ed.) I put it out of Max's reach so that it could recover in its own time and an hour later it had disappeared. As a result I had this nice warm feeling. (Known medically as incontinence! - Ed.)

***

It was blowing a gale this afternoon so we watched a bit of the French Open. We were very lucky to see an exciting and absorbing match between Frenchman Marc Gicquel and German Nicolas Keifer. Gicquel, who Jan got the hots for, was a qualifier and had the partisan French crowd right behind him. Eventually Keifer won 11-9 in the fifth after some superb tennis. Fabulous. (We've all got television as well, you know - Ed.)

***

Tonight, as there was little on television, we watched a DVD. If you want to see a very funny film, watch Troy. As far as films go this has to be the corniest, worst dialogue and worst acted film that we have seen in a long time. I usually fall asleep in a bad film but this was so entertaining in a 'bad film' way that I stayed awake. You have been warned!