Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Nowt stranger than folk

One of the great 'funs' of a hotel/pool holiday is to people watch but, more importantly, to pull people apart and give them nicknames. Looking around here, the first person that springs to mind is 'the aged rocker'. I'm not sure of his nationality but at a guess I'd say English or Dutch. He is quite tall, has a huge beer belly, long, curly, unwashed hair and always wears a black t-shirt with the tour dates of old rock bands on the back. (A younger version is pictured above) Mettalica, Iron Maiden, Led Zepplin and Status Quo at the last count. This guy has seen them all, bless him.
The next irritating twerp is 'hail fellow, well met'. He always wears a bright primary coloured shirt and white trousers with white very pointed shoes that curl up at the front. He darts about greeting his chums in a loud voice and I suspect he is the life and soul of the party. Only trouble is, he is always on his own because I bet that when anyone sees him coming they shoot off in the opposite direction. A smart move I'd say.
Another strange couple is this very tall 40 years old man with earring and goatee beard. I reckon that he is German. He eats alone with a 10 years old girl every night. Nothing wrong with that I hear you say. He's a divorced parent treating his daughter to a holiday together. OK, I agree, but how come she wears a full different national costume every night? The first night she wore a full, scaled down, flamenco dress. The second and third night I didn't see her and last night she wore a full scaled down Mandarin Chinese dress. She is doll like and immaculately coiffured. Kinda spooky I say.
Jan even swore she had seen Sir John Gielgud until I pointed out that he had been dead for 7 years.

Last but not least is this short, fat, hairy guy who always has his laptop with him, like the sad bastard that he is. He also likes to wear primary colours and his missus calls him 'dick head'. (You've got it in one - Ed)

I said spooky above because each night dinner has a different national theme. So far, you guessed it, it has been Spanish, Italian, no theme and last night Chinese. Her parent must have known this but it begs the questions, why and how. These clothes fit her perfectly. There can't be a shop on the island that can cater for this and, more to the point, it must take significant preparation and, why would you want to do it?

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