Last night we were invaded by 150 Spanish women from the other side of the island. What a noise! The common denominator – they were all 5 foot 2 inches tall, had very loud voices and big appetites. I subsequently found out that they were on a girls (and I use that term loosely) weekend. Their husbands’ loss was definitely not my gain.
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It was cloudy today so we decided to hire a car and get a change of scenery. I can't remember the last time I drove a Mercedes SLR, which didn't really matter because what we hired was a Citroen C3 (my little joke). We were on a mission because Jan needed to buy two smart summer dresses and we also wanted to check out two other hotels in this group. The nearest shops were in Playas de Las Americas. Given that I'm good at shopping, can spot the best shops from 100 yards and don't dither about which dress, I had Jan fixed up, super fast, and cheap, within a half hour of starting to look! Now the downside. Whatever Jan buys, mum has to buy as well but before I could endure a couple of hours of hell we stopped for lunch. This time it was Jan's turn to spot the best place. El Arrozal, Avda Litoral s/n, Playa de Las Americas, 38660 Aron 922 79 02 77, was excellent. We all decided to eat one of my favourites, arroz negra (black rice, coloured with squid ink, with chiporones, baby squid) and to drink a white rioja Marques de Carceres 2005. They made the arroz really well and this, together with the wine, helped fortify me for the hell to come. OK, so we now need to find mum a dress. We spent ages looking for something that would even vaguely fit and ended up in Zara. Now some of you ladies will know that Zara's target market is in the 18-35 age group. It is definitely not in the 80-130 age group. To add weight (pun intended) to my claim, Jan advised that she had never bought clothes to fit in Zara. I explained this to my mother (pictured above, just after she realised the clothes wouldn't fit). Did she listen? I waited outside the shop for about 50 minutes slowly building up a head of steam. Eventually I lost it and stormed into the shop only to see mum walking towards the changing rooms with some clothes. She showed them to me one at a time and said what do you think. I said:
Me: They are very pretty but they won't fit you.
Mum: Yes, but what do you think.
Me: They are very attractive but they wont fit you.
Mum: I'll try them on.
What exactly doesn't a woman understand about 'they won't fit you'? What mysterious language do you need to speak so that something sinks in? We messed about for the best part of two hours and achieved nothing. Having said that, Jan got what she wanted and I had a very good lunch. I suppose two out of three can't be bad? But whatever, I hope you had a better St Patrick's Day than I did.
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