Saturday, March 10, 2007

My lovely mum

Whilst we landed yesterday in the early morning, mum arrived late afternoon and, like the dutiful son that I am, I went to the airport to meet her. The indicator board made no sense. It showed her plane as having arrived from both Leeds and Lanzarote. It turned out that the plane made an unscheduled stop in Lanzarote to drop off a part for another, disabled plane. Do we really need to know that? It just causes confusion.

Whilst I’m waiting for her in baggage reclaim (don’t ask how I got in, these airports just play at security), being confused by the arrivals board, not being able to find her and having just realised that her plane had made an unscheduled stop, I came to the conclusion that she might have disembarked on another island. How the hell am I going to find her? Luckily I recognised some Leeds accents from amongst the huge crowd waiting at the carousel. I asked if anyone had disembarked in Lanzarote. The answer was negative. OK, she was there somewhere, but where? Eventually I found her, dressed like she had just arrived from the Arctic and covered in sweat. Bless.
The taxi ride back to the hotel was something else. The driver constantly muttered to himself, kept hitting the horn by mistake (which made me wonder whether he’d stolen the car) and drove like a maniac at 160 kph, 50 centimetres behind the car in front. Anyway, mum who was sitting in the back said something to him which I didn’t catch, but what really surprised me was that he replied. Mum is 82 years old and I’ve known her for a lot of that time but I had absolutely no idea that she spoke Spanish.


We're by the pool and the conversation goes like this:

Me: Mum, you were lucky to be able to fly direct from Leeds.

Mum: What did you say?

Me: Can you put your hearing aid in?

Mum: I can’t hear you.

Me (louder): Where’s your hearing aid?

Mum: Hang on I’ll put my hearing aid in.

Me: Can you hear me now?

Mum: Don’t shout, I can hear you now.

Me (swinging gently by the neck from a palm tree): Aaaaargh.


Breakfast this morning brought the usual problem, what to eat. If you couldn’t find what you wanted, it hadn’t been grown, invented, cooked yet. Just an unbelievable choice. A gluttons paradise (you'll be alright then! - Ed)

It was hot and sunny yesterday and this is exactly what we hoped. Today however was cloudy, not what we wanted, but hey it gave Jan the opportunity to partake of her other great interest, shopping. Fortunately (but not for MasterCard) the shops were hopeless, full of tourist tat, so it was back to the pool to read and build up an appetite for the next meal. This could be a long ten days!

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