Al Jolson is alive, and well, and working in Redmond

Regular readers will by now have realised that I am prone to flights of fantasy. This is, however, a true story.

I was recently typing, in MS Word, and the sentence that I wrote went as follows, "the rest of me is pretty broad as well." Not too much wrong with that I thought, but not so, the grammar checker automatically underlined the word "is".

I right clicked the offending word and they suggested that I change "is" to "am". So here it is, "the rest of me am pretty broad as well". That should keep some twit at Microsoft happy.

But then I thought that maybe I should change the "the" to "de", blacken up my face and do an Al Jolson impression! - "de rest of me am pretty broad as well .........mammy". But that would be stupid, wouldn't it?

After two days of rain, (we need it, so I'm not complaining), we have a beautiful clear blue sky this morning, so full of bonhomie, I call my mother. The conversation goes like this:

"Hi mom, would you like to come over for your birthday and stay for a few weeks?"
"Alex, I'm not feeling too well at the moment, could we delay the decision for a couple of weeks?"
"Yes mum, but it's not too far away now and the fare is already up to £80, and I don't really want to pay more."
"Well do I have to fly from Liverpool again?"
"Yes mum, it's the nearest airport and the taxi will take you door to door."
"Can't I fly from Manchester?"
"Mum, I've told you before that Manchester is marginally closer but, more importantly, there are no flights from Manchester."
"But the taxi is so expensive."
"Mum, it is no more expensive than any where else, like Luton or Stansted, and those airports also involve an overnight stay. This is the easiest, cheapest and safest option for you."
"Mnnnnnn."
"Look mum (imagine the tone heating up) if you don't want to come, that's OK with us, but I thought that you would enjoy a bit of sunshine for a few weeks. It would make you feel better."
"Well yes that's true, I'd like that."
"So what do you think then?"
"Look I'll leave it up to you. You book it if you want."

For the sake of balance, my mother is 81 years old and I love her to bits. I always feel so proud of her when I see her walking from baggage reclaim into the arrivals hall. She adores Jan and Max, and she always makes herself busy around the house and even digs the garden. The tales she tells of growing up in wartime Italy are endlessly fascinating and I can't wait to see her again.