Designer water

We were in Carrefour today and guess what I saw? Bottles of Jean Paul Gaultier designed Evian water at 3.00 euros a bottle. What a great wheeze. Change the shape of a bottle (down to 75cl) put a bit of frosting on it and tell everyone that it was designed by JPG and presto. Who on earth would buy it?

Shane MacGowan

Many years ago I saw an interview on television with Shane MacGowan (of The Pogues). I couldn't believe how ugly he was and I couldn't understand why they would let anyone who was so obviously under the influence of drink and drugs appear on television. I must admit to being fascinated by him and if you ever wanted to show kids what drink and drugs will do to the human body, show them this. It's not pretty.

Bloody Christmas

As I get older I get lazier or maybe it's just more pragmatic? (you were right first time - Ed)

I bought my own Christmas present whilst in England recently and I've been asking Jan for weeks what she would like. Running out of patience yesterday I demanded to know what she wanted. She shouted at me that she had given me lots of hints. I shouted back that I didn't want bloody hints, we are after all grown ups, I just wanted to know what she wanted.

OK, so whilst we were in Nîmes today, Jan pointed at a shop and said that's where you can buy it. See how useful that it is? What was even more useful was that I mentioned that it was a Christmas present for Jan, who was standing right next to me, and they carefully wrapped it up in sexy black paper. All that has to happen now is that she'll forget what it was and enjoy opening it on the 25th. How practical is that?

Fairytale of New York

Cards are starting to arrive and we've belatedly just sent out all ours. And for you, my dear friends, here's my favourite Christmas song especially for you.

Back to normal

We're home and the dogs will barely leave our (Jan's) side. You can be doing the most mundane thing and there they are stuck to you like glue. It's quite endearing, and irritating at the same time.

After a cold wintery visit to the market yesterday and a few glasses of vin chaud, it was time to slump in front of the fire, watch television and build up energy for today's Christmas lunch, organised by BritsNimes, at Vatel in Nimes. Excellent.

My head hurts

I was feeling fine, until I read this.

Herault Family Life

Jacqui writes a blog that Jan particularly likes. It offers an insight into moving to France and bringing up two school age children. We met Jacqui and Richard for lunch at L'Ocre Rouge (best viewed with Firefox) in Herepian and then went back to their place for a cup of tea. An excellent way to spend half a day. Thanks guys.

Jan - superstar

This part of the trip has been a total surprise for Jan. A sort of thank you for being her. She had no idea what to expect until we got here. As we pulled up to Le Couvent I said, "here we are darling, a coven. Right up your street." Thank goodness she's got a good sense of humour. (She needs one living with you - Ed)

I've always considered myself infallible (please, no more - Ed) but boy did I get it wrong earlier this year. Jan correctly self diagnosed a serious heart problem whilst I told her not be silly, she had indigestion. The thought of me stuffing her face with Gaviscon, whilst she turned a nice shade of purple, still haunts me.

Anyway, back to the coven couvent. Despite a rather nondescript exterior this former convent has been beautifully remodelled and very tastefully modernised. A lot of money and attention to detail make it a very, very memorable place. A haven of good taste, peace and tranquility (until you got there - Ed) A perfect place to relax. Highly recommended.

Le Couvent d'Herepian

We had no internet last night so I'm posting a bunch of stuff as things go through my head (is that what you call it? - Ed). Late this afternoon we arrived here in time for Jan to get the first of her 'treatments'. When I booked the break Sandra offered us both a massage. Given that their masseusse was unlikely to have hands big enough for me, I volunteered Jan for my session.

My beloved has had a bit of a tough year (never mind having to deal with you -Ed), so this was meant to be a little rest before getting stuck into looking after me over Christmas.

You know you can't be too careful boys! If you want to look after your beloved, show her that you care, but more to the point build up a huge number of brownie points, then this is the place for you.

If you add into the equation the fitted kitchen in each suite, you can stuff your face with all the goodies that your beloved has left for you, whilst she gets pampered and you surf the net. Bloody excellent (you are such a slob - Ed).

My beloved

Jan just sent me this. What do you think she meant?

El Celler de Can Roca, Gerona

Wow what a restaurant. I could fill pages of superlatives about this place. My best advice is just go. It doesn't have to cost the earth. We were offered three menus at 115€, 95€ and the Classic Menu at 75€. We chose the latter and alongside the menu they bring you selected wines for each course at 25€ per head. For just over 100€ per head you get an outstanding meal at one of the best restaurants in the world. The setting and service are wonderful and we are planning to go back with some foodie friends.

Getting old

I’m such a plonker (we already knew that – Ed) sometimes I feel like I'm cracking up. As a treat for Jan I’d booked us into a hotel/spa on our way back from Barcelona so that she could have massages, facials and all that sort of girly stuff but, and it’s quite a big but, when I checked the details this morning, I’d got the dates wrong. We weren’t expected until Wednesday and today was Tuesday. Bugger.
Ah well, it meant another, unscheduled night in a hotel so we decided to stop over in Gerona. We like Gerona, it’s just off the motorway home and we always use it as our last minute shopping stop before arriving back into France. They have an El Cortes Ingles department store and below that their own very good supermarket, Hipercor, full of our favourite Spanish goodies. We’re into Spanish goodies at the moment. Legs of the sweetest ham from acorn fed pigs, Rioja, Spanish olive oil, Manchego cheese and all sorts of good stuff like that. Excellent.
When deciding where to eat, I remembered reading about a good restaurant in Gerona called El Celler de Can Roca. I also remembered reading that if you couldn’t get into El Bulli (I had already tried and failed to get a table anytime in 2009) then this was a pretty good alternative. We got a table.

Japanese heaven

It was a public holiday in Spain yesterday which had one major benefit, the shops were shut, hence saving us a lot of money. Having said that what to do? You do what the Barcelonese do, you eat out.

Today's new experience was Wok Yutaka, Rossello 307. An eat-as- much-as-you-can Japanese restaurant at 14.80 Euros a head. Surprise, surprise it was packed but at least we were smart and booked yesterday.

What was even more surprising was that the only counter that had no one around it was the sashimi and sushi counter. In my opinion, what are you doing in a Japanese resto if you don't like sushi? I love sushi, so I was in heaven, and there it was, all that I could eat for 14.80. They were going to lose out on this one!

Anyway that wasn't the end of the fun. Ben and Paula wanted to buy a Christmas tree so we headed for the Christmas market just next to the Sagrada Familia. That gave me an idea. What did I really want to make my Christmas perfect. The perfect crib figure. I went looking for a Barak Obama caganer. Til the day I die I'll never understand this Catalan custom, but custom it is so, when in Rome. It took a bit of time but we found one. Look, I know it's strange but the Catalans take it quite seriously and who am I to offend.

More than one child?

Never having been a real baby person (they give little feedback, they just eat, sleep and shit), I'm getting much more attached to Kate. She has a lovely personality and even seems to like me. (She doesn't know you yet - Ed)

We all want to be liked, right? So how does Jan express this?

I'd asked Ben and Paula if they were contemplating having anymore children when the discussion got around to only children. Jan, who wants another grandchild (as long as she can hand them back), said to Paula, "You know the potential problems with only children?" Nodding towards me she said, "Do you want her to turn out like him?" (She got it in one! - Ed)

Can I let it be known that I think only children are bloody great!