I need help

It rained on and off for most of yesterday so I took the opportunity, during my enforced captivity, to finish the data inputing that I had started the day before. I type pretty much with one finger and by the end of the day my right index finger was very sore. (Such a big brave boy - Ed.)

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Jan and I have felt for some time that one or two of our French neighbours talk in a racist way but haven't thought much about it, other than trying to avoid them. This article suggests that the problem is much more widespread. I wonder what the equivalent figures for other countries are.

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I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. My mother called today to mention that she has now received junk mail, mailed to two different names that she does not recognise, at her address, and that she is very worried. When I asked what she is worried about she said that as she lives on her own these things can be very worrying and what should she do? I tried, probably not very successfully, to explain that she had nothing to worry about. It made me reflect on the problems associated with elderly people living on their own and how vulnerable they can feel. I need to be more sympathetic and more patient. (You should talk to your care worker about it - Ed.).

I'm forever blowing bubbles

From time to time I mention Katie, a delightful person, who visits us on school holidays with her parents Glyn and Gill and her equally delightful brother Tom. Well, Katie is a fiend with a squash racquet, plays for her county Lancashire, and recently won a tournament in Ireland against an older, bigger, stronger and uglier opponent (I hope she doesn't see this - Ed.). I'm pleased to include a picture of Katie collecting her prize.

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I saw this today which made me laugh. There's hope for us all yet!

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With the exception of West Ham (I had the honour of signing their first ever shirt sponsorship) beating Manchester City in the FA Cup, nothing much happened today. It tried to rain most of the day so the garden was out of bounds and I spent at lot of time at the computer inputing data. It looks like I'll have to do the same again tomorrow - yippee - can't wait!

A one eyed frog

In response to huge public demand, I include another picture of my new beret. Very Gallic or what? (Why do you keep closing one eye? - Ed.)

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The dogs have been quite mischievous recently and today Max decided to chase a cat, which disappeared under the house. New houses in this area all seem to be built with a vide sanitaire. A space under the house where you can get access to all the plumbing and drainage. We have 2 extra accesses (don't ask) that I had blocked off with a view to doing something permanent later. Whilst going under the house is not a problem in itself, the damage he could do to pipes is something else. Gentle he is not. For 2 years Max has never been interested in going under the house but a cat has changed all that. Both holes were blocked with heavy concrete blocks, but if it means getting at a cat, these posed no problem to our little angel. He brushed them aside as if they didn't exist.

Seriously good wine makers

Today was all about meeting Bob and Lynne for a little wine tasting, and trying out a new restaurant, but just before B&L arrived both the dogs went missing. After about 20 minutes, Max responded to calls and turned up on the other side of a boundary fence, but we had to use quite a bit of subterfuge to trap him because he was clearly very excited at having 'escaped'.
Minnie, on the other hand, had totally disappeared and so with Max under control, we went off in search of her. We toured the village in the car and on foot shouting her name. Nothing. My thoughts turned to someone having taken her because she is quite valuable and very friendly, so getting hold of her would not be a problem. After 40 minutes we returned home and had to assume that she would turn up. She did, in exactly the same place that Max had 40 minutes earlier. We then spent some time trying to find their escape route and blocking the hole. The little darlings.

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When Bob and Lynne arrived, only I was ready, so the 3 of us set off for a little wine tasting but before that they very, very kindly gave us each a birthday present. Fabulous, I've always wanted a beret and together with my new stripy jumper (Marks and Spencer!) I think that I am at least starting to look a little French. Thank you B&L, you are very kind.

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First stop for the tasting was the cave at Crespian to taste their Bois d' Elene, Grand Reserve (amongst others), then onto Mas de Plan at Serignac for some of their reds, where we also discovered a delicious bag-in-box white. It's funny that both my white wines of choice, from around here, come in boxes. Last stop was Quissac for a tasting in the front room of the owners of Domaine de Baubiac. These people are seriously good wine makers but what made the tasting so atmospheric was Raul's insistence on making it a bit of an apero (I think he fancied the company) by offering us some sausage and olives and leaving the television blaring out, whilst France beat Wales at Rugby. You couldn't pay for moments like this and to quote a MasterCard advert - it was priceless. As Jan said some time ago, "It sure beats buying wine at Sainsburys."

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As our luck was riding high, the new restaurant was bound to be good. WRONG, at best the food was mediocre, with a style straight from the 70's, it was not particularly cheap, and the wine was ok but poor in comparison to what we had been tasting earlier (if you want to avoid it, it was Hotel Restaurant L'Esquielle in 30190 St-Genies de Malgoires). A disappointing end to the day, but the rest of it was pretty damn good!

Give us a job mister

I've finally caught up with the backlog of typing for last week's trip. Other than catching up with bits and pieces, not too much happened yesterday.

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I've mentioned before about antiquated French attitudes to work and how this country needs strong leadership that will move it forward into the 21st century. The present unrest, as mentioned here, is a good example of what I mean. I'm no expert, but I believe that the UK has had the same type of law in existence for over 25 years and doesn't seem to suffer too much. Every time I discuss employment with any of the artisans that I come into contact with, to a man, they mention the high cost of employing people in this country, in terms of social security payments and stringent employment laws that make it very difficult to fire someone who doesn't perform. As a result, you find lots of one man bands, high youth unemployment and negative attitudes. French protests seem inevitably to have a violent side to them and in my eyes makes the protestors look Luddite in the extreme. For a nation that launches space rockets, builds Concorde, designs nice clothes and makes fine wine, I find it all a bit puzzling.

A brave man

As planned, new gates arrived from Lapeyre in anticipation of blocking off the front and back gardens and Mr Fridge Repair Man arrived to fix an ongoing problem with our main fridge. At the time of writing, it's still chillin!

We had a big shock however, when JP, our French friend and former restaurant owner, appeared on the doorstep minus his usual mane of hair and Gallic moustache. He was expecting an email from his family, who had recently decamped to Zimbabwe, and called to see if it had arrived. The poor man had had a lump removed from his throat and the chemotherapy had zapped all his hair and 'burnt' his face. All this had happened in the space of the few weeks since we last saw him, and he has been dealing with this all on his own. A brave man.

It reminds me of how frail we all are, how we should all love one another and that we should all live life to the full.

Honey, I'm home

An early start, so that Jill and Harry could drop us off at Luton before they carried on up to Manchester Airport for a short break in Morocco.

Ryanair's recent clamp down on baggage allowance (10 kilos carry on and 15 kilos checked bag) had us juggling items between the suitcases at the airport but we just managed to scrape inside the limits. Having said that we left a huge box of goodies in Hinxworth for J&H to bring with them next time they drive down. I see a little business opportunity here for someone to ferry items between the UK and all Ryanair's destinations. Hmnnnn.

Our plane was delayed for an hour but otherwise the flight was uneventful and we landed in a warm and sunny Nîmes. It was good to be back. It was good to see the pooches and even better to get back into our own bed.

Give me patience

Because James and Pauline had very kindly let us use their bedroom, we left Brighton early so that they could get on with their lives and we could head north to meet Jan's sister Valerie.

On the way, we stopped off at Marks and Spencer (I'd noticed that you hadn't mentioned it yet - Ed.) so that Jan could take some items back that she had bought 2 days previously. Furthermore, despite my suggestion that she buy something that would be useful and improve her life, she promptly filled a trolley with clothes, that she tried on, and then put back. What is it about women and shopping? I actually don't mind shopping, but this was a total waste of 1 hour of our lives. (What happened to all your birthday good will? - Ed.)

Val was in fine form and after a pub lunch (I had a pint of Badgers, which was really good) we headed back to Hinxworth for an Indian curry with Jill and Harry. The perfect end to the day - and the week.

Surprise No 2

Because one surprise wasn't enough, today (with help from Rebecca in England) we orchestrated 'Surprise 2'. After a lazy breakfast and a read of the Sunday papers, Jan and I wandered up to the Seven Dials Restaurant (1 Buckingham Place, Brighton 01273 885555 - recommended) for an excellent Sunday lunch. What Jan didn't know was that the rest of her extended family had already gathered for yet another surprise. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time that we had all gathered together in one place. The ages ranged from 87 years old to 2 years old.

Two perfect days were rounded off by putting Maisie (No 1 granddaughter) to bed and heading back to James' for pizza.

A nice surprise

Whilst Jan's birthday was on Thursday, what she didn't know was that I'd arranged for all our children to gather today, including Ben and Paula from Spain, for a family get together. Jan hadn't wanted a fuss made about her birthday and she was genuinely touched that all her children had gathered from the four corners. We celebrated at Aumthong Thai Brasserie (31 King Road, Brighton 01273 777256) with a long drawn out dinner. An excellent evening despite the fact that I somehow managed to lose the carpark ticket and it cost me £25 to recover the car. (You donkey - Ed.) In no particular order, Ben and Paula, Josh and Rebecca at the restaurant. Sorry Luke, no offence intended.

On the move again

We left for Brighton via Welwyn Garden City and a pub lunch in St Albans. At the pub I had 2 pints of London Pride, which I have always liked, but it seemed a bit 'thinner' than I remembered. However, whilst it may be a bit 'thinner', the price has certainly got 'fatter' at £2.90 a pint. How do kids afford to binge drink?

Leaving St Albans we took the M25 round London and boy, was it slow. It was 15.00 hours on Friday and the road was solid, stop-start all the way. It took over 2 hours to get to Brighton where we picked up James (my son) from work and then went on to his new flat in Hove for dinner. Pauline (pronounced Paolina in German) cooked us risotto ai cavolfiori, cauliflower risotto from Jamie Oliver's book Jamie's Italy. It was absolutely delicious and has instantly become a favourite. All in all a good day.

Happy Birthday

In order to get a few things for the dogs, we popped into Harrogate and visited a pet shop. The conversation got round to the possibility of Minnie getting pregnant by Max and how we could prevent it. On our way out of the shop, I made the joke that 'boys will be boys' and that I'd have to watch Max. The shopkeeper lent over the counter and in a conspiratorial whisper said, "My old Gran once said to me, 'Ner trust owt wi bollocks!'" A smart lady his granny!

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Today was Jan's birthday and the major reason for this trip. Political correctness prevents me from saying how old she is, but if we lived in an area with any buses, her new free bus pass would come in handy. And by the way, I'm her toy boy. After a lovely breakfast in Harrogate, we jumped in the car for the 3 hour journey south for lunch. Jill had invited us, together with Bar and Geoff, for a delicious lunch. The rest of the day was spent laughing and joking (don't we all look pretty in pink?). A nice way to spend your birthday.

Food, like Mamma used to make

Today was all about R&R and so we achieved very little. The highlight of the day was going to be the visit to an Italian restaurant. I have always found it difficult to find good Italian restaurants in England. Most places are stuck in 70's mode and offer food that has only a passing resemblance to anything Italian. We were encouraged to visit Sasso in Prince's Square, Harrogate. The menu looked very appetising and the wine list was interesting to say the least. It promised a lot. Oops, that's as far as it got. I started with small bacon wrapped scallops, all three of them, followed by a seafood pasta dish that also contained asparagus and brocoli. There were far too may flavours all fighting with one another - hopeless. For main course, Jan and I had sea bass which unfortunately was covered in a porcini mushroom crust. This was far too strong a flavour for the fish. The pudding was equally disappointing. Not a good experience and not recommended and luckily I wasn't paying!

Holy contraceptives

Mum has a small house and very kindly lets us sleep in her bedroom whilst she moves to something smaller in another room. Being a staunch Roman Catholic, the room is full of religious artifacts, crucifixes, statues et al, which kind of puts you off your stroke if you are feeling in the slightest bit amorous. I presume it's a type of Catholic contraception. Anyway it bloody works!

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First stop today was Knaresborough. A delightful market town where mum has her doctor's surgery. As a note of warning, never offer my mother a lift anywhere, it will take the rest of the day. On to Harrogate where, between them, mum and Jan achieved 2 hours of shopping, I hung around whilst they 'popped' into shops and, other than boredom, I achieved absolutely nothing. Now usually I don't mind shopping but my mother tests every kind fibre in my body to breaking point. When will I ever learn? Anyway, I had another bite of the cherry this afternoon and managed to buy Jan's forthcoming birthday present.

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Out to the theatre tonight to see Alan Bennet's, Talking Heads. Harrogate Theatre opened in 1900 as Harrogate Grand Opera House and, over the years, has been visited by many famous old actors, Sarah Bernhardt, Isadora Duncan, Henry Irving, Herbert Beerbohm Tree and even Charlie Chaplin. It has a charming Victorian auditorium and only seats 500 people. The play was well performed and was very entertaining, albeit in a very gentle northern humoured way. The test for me, with anything like this, is whether I fall asleep or not. I stayed awake.