John Prescott

Not only was this semi literate man responsible for government decisions but they then promote him to the house of lords.

Take a look (by clicking above) at how his testimony is reported and see if you can understand what he hell he is saying.

Unbelievable and very scary.

Interesting

Thanks to The Languedoc Page Forum I had a go at this.

My result is as follows.

I'd never really thought of myself as a Ghandi type person. All I need now is a loin cloth!

Corrida

Frankly I'm amazed that it took so long. I've been to several bullfights and I've tried hard to be open minded about it.

The spectacle is a process, with each part carefully choreographed, and timed, and with a view to weakening the bull before killing it. Whilst initially it's quite an exciting event because the matador does risk life and limb, when you get to understand what's going on, your heart goes out to the bull and you have to admit that it is cruel and very gruesome.

So I'm a convert. I've seen what happens, I don't like it and I agree with the ban.

As far as I know nearby Arles is about as far east as bullfighting goes and I wonder how soon before the ban hits France?

Too much time on your hands?

It takes £1 and a bit of time to really piss people off on Monday morning.

easyJet

Is it just me, or does anyone else have problems with easyJet flight information?

I had an early morning pick up at Montpellier this morning so checked whether the flight from Luton was on time. Not only was there no mention of the flight at all but on the first line it showed a Gatwick to Montpellier flight which was supposed to land at exactly the same time but the arrival information showed it estimated to arrive two hours before it took off. Not only that but the flight doesn't even exist.

It's no wonder that Ryanair took a run at easyJet recently. It might have cost him some money but I suspect that it was a point well made.

Phew!

God, it's good to be back home.

I hadn't realised how much I depended on getting my instructions every morning and my little rewards for doing well throughout the day.

I didn't realise how much I missed shouting at the dogs, having been on the receiving end myself.

Still, I'll miss my mum who liked to have 'someone around' and she particularly liked me preparing meals for her (I kid you not!).

A big thanks to Sainsbury's ready meals department here.

A new find

Whilst buying the ingredients for last nights dinner (let's get this right, you consider a pre-prepared Indian meal an ingredient? - Ed) I came across an Italian wine which I like and which is quite difficult to find.

Sainsbury's, who also produced the king prawn puri and chicken jalfrezi, have just started to sell a (Giardini) Falanghina from Puglia. Puglia is the region where mum's from so I thought that it might be a tasty trip down memory lane.

No joy. She had never heard of Falanghina or, as it happens, a Greco di Tufo, another favourite from the south of Italy.

A little tip. If you go to an Italian restaurant don't look at the wine list and just ask the Sommelier if he has either of the above wines. He'll be impressed with your knowledge and treat you with absolute 'respect'.

Which is quite important if you're Italian, and don't fancy waking up next to a horses head!

Strange bedfellows

What have buffaloes and Formula 1 got in common? Read on mes amis, read on.

After a conversation with mum about mozzarella, the other night, I popped into Waitrose to get her a treat. She likes the buffalo mozzarella made by the Italian company Garofalo and Waitrose is where you can get it.

Anyway, on the shelf right next to it was a buffalo mozzarella made in England. That's like Parmigiana made in Preston. Kinda weird. I'd vaguely remembered reading something about it and, being something of a mozzarella aficionado myself, I decided to get some.

The English stuff is made by Laverstoke Park Farm near Basingstoke in Hampshire. And very, very good it is too. Reading the blurb inside the wrapping it was signed off by someone I recognised. It looks like the place is owned by Jody Scheckter the former world champion Formiula 1 driver.

A South African making a typically Italian product, mozzarella, in England. How strange is that?

Looking at the website they do other interesting things as well.

A good son

As we ate dinner last night mum said, "do you realise that this is the first dinner you have ever cooked."

I soon put her right on that one. For a start I'd cooked the night before. (You warmed up a ready made meal! - Ed) I had to remind her that when I was fourteen she buggered off to Italy for six months and, along with trying to be a model pupil, I was left to run the household for me and my father. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, ironed and generally did everything that was necessary for the smooth running of the house.

I don't remember my father lifting a finger (maybe that's where you get it from? - Ed).

As you can tell, I'm still scarred.

A hidden message

Jan sent me this little story but I'm not sure why.

A man, who was watching a football game on television, kept switching channels between the football and a porno movie.

"I don't know whether to watch the movie or the football," he said to his wife.

"For heavens sake just watch the movie," his wife said.

"You already know how to play football."

I can't tell you how happy I am

Bloody great! I spend a couple of hundred pounds getting my arse over to England to support my dear old mum when she has to go into hospital for an operation, to replace a knee, and four hours before I'm due to take her in, the hospital phone to cancel it.

At her age this is not an insubstantial operation and over the last few months she's been psyching herself up for it.

Now normally I'm a cheery kinda soul but not right at this minute.

Still, it's quite a bit cooler than at home (said he trying to think positively).

Never satisfied

I know it sounds like I'm always whingeing (yes - Ed) but taking advantage of my mum's pending hospitalization, I'm in Harrogate for a few days and boy is it good to get out of the blistering heat of home.

It's a nice cool but windy 20C, still t-shirt weather but not the uncomfortable, breathless oven I call home.

Still, by tomorrow I'll be pissed off with that as well and will long to get back. There's no pleasing some people.

Big chill in Sommieres

It's big chill week!

And because it's Saturday it must be Sommieres. After a quick trip to the market, including a quick drink with the 'lads', it was off for an excellent barbecue lunch at CW's.

This big chill thing could take off if I worked hard enough at it.

Big chill in Nimes

One of our party was drinking this stuff last night and, despite the name, we all thought it tasted OK.

Anyway, during July and August on Thursday nights, the old part of Nimes between the Maison Carré and the Arene, has a festival atmosphere. There are lots of craft stalls and nice music by live bands around every corner.

The atmosphere is very relaxed and very family oriented. Excellent.

After our obligatory pizza we wandered down to the Arene and sat outside to listen to that nights live entertainment. The band (Gossip) sounded really good,





all part of the Festival of Music every year, at this time of the year.

Stevie Wonder performed earlier this month, appropriately, on 4th July.

Iran reacts

Is there any truth in the rumour that Iran has banned the wearing of berets and strings of onions? We need to know.

Fidelity

You've been warned!

Le Criquet?

Just when you thought you'd heard everything this comes along.

Pin back your ears for a bit of culture

Animal mysteries

With a promise of a reward in heaven, I was making a cup of tea this morning, at some ungodly hour, when blow me but I noticed a pigeon in the dining room trying to get out of a window (that was shut). Where the hell did that come from? Had it been there all night? How had it got in the house? There were a lot more questions than answers.

Then, this evening Max disappeared. We have no idea where he went or how he got out because he appeared out of the blue at the front door, some time later and pleased as punch with himself.

Me, I'm stumbling around in the dark at the back of the house, feeling less than happy with him, and then Jan finds him at the front.

Bloody animals! Still, the octopus got it right again.

It's so easy

If you want to reduce public spending, it just requires a little 'outside the box' thinking.

Nutella

I love Nutella. I remember being given it as a treat when I was a child, so reading this article brought all those memories back.

Well actually, the memories weren't that far a way because I keep a jar handy for whenever I get the urge (which is most of the time you diabetic idiot - Ed).

If you look at the ingredients, it is mostly made from sugar and vegetable oil with the third largest ingredient hazelnuts at 13%. God knows how they get something so obviously bad for you to taste so nice, but they do.

I'll never forget seeing it being sold in an Italian motorway service station in enormous 10Kg jars. Excellent.

Rafael Nadal

When oh when is someone going to sort Nadal out? His demolition of Murray was just awesome and similarly of Berdych, but for crying out loud will someone give sell him some underpants that fit. It drives me mad.

Mostly when receiving serve and between each point he pulls his pants from the crack of his arse. Surely with all his wealth he can get pants that fit.

Get Nike to make him some. They'd love it! Nike shreddies!

You look knackered mate

I love the health system in France. It's just the best.

We were at the Franciscan clinic in Nimes this morning for Jan to have her annual epreuve d'effort.

Dr F is the cardiologist and, after Jan had done her stuff, I wanted to know if I'd heard him right last time we met at his office when I thought he said that I should have one as well. He confirmed that (as an ugly fat git - Ed) that as a diabetic it would be a good idea if I had one every year or so.

For many years in the UK I had this type of medical check, which cost a fortune, and which I usually had to travel to London for.

Here we have a heart specialist who charges peanuts in comparison and who is routinely offering the same service. Excellent.