Embarrassed

I've finally recovered enough to be able to talk about it. I woke at 5.00 this morning and couldn't stop thinking about it. (Most normal people have other things on their minds at 5.00 am in the privacy of their bedrooms - Ed)

The Champions League Final should in theory represent the best two football teams that Europe can produce. The anticipation of last Wednesday's game between Barcelona and Manchester United was mouthwatering.

What a huge disappointment. To see the so called best that England can produce so comprehensively outplayed, outmanoeuvred and outclassed was embarrassing to say the least.

Barcelona took football to a new height. They played with a skill, flair and commitment that you can only dream about. It's difficult to imagine seeing football played better. They made MU look like the bunch of bloated, overpaid, self congratulating wankers they are. Alex Ferguson has some serious thinking to do, and he'll start by getting rid of Christiano Ronaldo. What an immature idiot. Every time the camera panned onto him you caught him looking up at the stadium screens to see if he was on camera. Compare him to Messi. Messi made him look like a preening amateur. The thug Scholes should have been sent off. He was at his leaden footed, thuggish best. Bringing him on smacked of desperation. He reminded me of the time when we wore ankle high football boots, smothered in dubbin, with laced up footballs that weighed a ton and left an indelible imprint of the laces on your forehead if you were ever stupid enough to try to head the ball.

Gone forever are the days when you could say, ' hey Miguel, dos cervezas and make it quick.' Waiters around the world are now saying, 'fuck off and get it yourself you eenglish peeg.' Serves us right.