A blood curdling shriek from the main room disturbed my lazy, almost somnolent, surfing yesterday afternoon. My immediate reaction was that one of the dogs had attacked Jan. Such was the anger and sorrow in her wailing. As I rushed into the hall Jan came skipping towards me obviously unharmed but in some distress. "What's the matter, what's the matter?" I shouted.
"There's a bird in the house and it flew near me," she said.
"Fucking hell, get a grip woman. I thought it was something really serious" I said.
Anyway, yours truly, or Superman in some peoples eyes, found the little thing sitting on the floor in the dining room. It was obviously stunned, if not totally deafened and disoriented by my beloved's screams. I picked it up gently and cupped it with both hands as I took it onto the kitchen terrace to let it go.
As if the whole episode wasn't ridiculous enough, as I walked out of the kitchen onto the terrace my shorts slipped down to my ankles. Not wanting to let the bird go until I was outside I kept going until the bird could fly away free.
Can you imagine what anyone watching me exit the house would have thought?
'I saw this man come out of his house, struggling to walk, with his hands joined in prayer and his trousers around his ankles. He's probably a nutter.'
Funny or what?
1 comment:
Now there's a visual I didn't need!
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