My obituary

This made me laugh.

Obituary euphemisms:

"Free spirit" - unemployable

"Vivacious" - drunk (female)

"A character" - drunk (male)

"Fun loving" - drank more than worked

"Down to earth" - born working class

"Utterly carefree" - senile

So my obituary would read:

A free spirit. A down to earth, utterly carefree, fun loving character.

***

A couple of days ago a small round hole appeared on the terrace and when I looked down I could see plastic drainage pipes. Oh, it's just a bit of subsidence, I thought and filled the hole with stones. Yesterday, I noticed Max sniffing at something in the same postion and blow me if it wasn't a small rabbit looking out of the hole. At first sight it appeared dead but on closer inspection you could see its nose twitching. The poor thing was stuck and it took two of us 20 minutes or so to dig it out. It had obviously made the hole the other day and was using the underground pipe as a run. Filling the hole with stones had caused it to get jammed as it came out of the hole. Bless.