I was at the hairdresser yesterday and it slowly dawned on me that I've developed a knack of chatting to him without understanding a word of what he's saying. I achieve this by listening to the tone of what is said and nodding knowledgeably and grunting or snorting in the right place and at the right time. It's kinda spooky because, for all I know, he's asked me to marry him. I've written about these rules of engagement before and this is what I can remember:
Rule 1. When you talk about spending money, adopt a negative, lost soul, I'm a poor foreigner and I don't understand anything stance, even if you fully understand everything. Pay nothing.
Rule 2. In conversation with a male of the opposite sexual persuasion, adopt a negative, and very butch stance. Make sure that you fully understand everything he's saying. Do nothing.
Rule 3. If stopped by the police, adopt a negative, lost soul, I'm a foreigner and don't understand anything stance, but then pay the fine quickly because you could end up in jail having to adopt Rule 2.
Rule 4. In conversation with a beautiful woman, say yes and agree to everything and then worry about the consequences later. (I'm with you on that one buddy! - Ed)
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