Brazil 1 England 1

Tomorrow is the day assigned to St Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of hopeless causes. I only mention this because this morning William and I played tennis for the first time in ages and he really should have been praying harder to the good Saint. I was in such good form that he didn't get one game off me and I thrashed him 6-0 (Owen, you would have been proud of me!) OK, so he had thoughts political on his mind but I was playing like a god (that's dog spelt backwards, right? - Ed.) The score now reads France 5 England 3. Bring him on.

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Whilst we are in World Cup mode, Anne sent me this today, which made me laugh.

It's just before England v Brazil at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin, an important World Cup group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered"

Ronaldo looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the bar and have a good time."

So Ronaldo goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few drinks. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so get they landlord to put the television on.

A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldo 10 minutes)" He's beating England all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on" They put the television on.

"Result from the Olympic Stadium : Brazil 1(Ronaldo 10 minutes) - England 1 (Beckham 89 minutes).

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down," "Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!"

"No, No, I've let you down! I got sent off after 12 minutes."