All about watches

I never adjust my watch when in the UK, despite Jan's protestations. "For crying out loud, surely you can deduct an hour from the time?" I would say. Well, most of the time I can, but in the wee small hours it can be a problem. Like this morning. I wake, check the time and decide that it's ok to get up and make a bit of noise. I am reading a good book, 'Merde Actually' by Stephen Clarke, recommended, which I've nearly finished, so finish it I do. After all it's nearly morning, until I'm reminded by the love of my life that it's 05.30 and too bloody early to have the light on. Whoops, sorry my sweet, I really can't argue with a woman who had decided to set her watch to the correct time!

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Talking about watches, I use a Breitling, sometimes called a chronometer, approved as a very accurate timepiece by those people that you can trust, the Swiss, and, if you believe all the blurb, guaranteed to make you look sexier and fly planes as well. I bought this monster many years ago, when I had more money than sense, thinking that I was entering time piece heaven. My previous watch was a battery powered, fancy Seiko which was second perfect and was probably used for space exploration. What I had failed to grasp was that my new purchase was barely accurate enough to boil an egg. Having said that, I do like my eggs well done. It gained/lost about 5 minutes a week and, as I was used to something that I could time an olympic race with, I was not happy. When I took the watch to Harrods, thinking that this is where I'd get it put right, I was told that it was 'accurate enough' and certainly fell within the bounds of normal! So it's with this background that I got used to the time being 'almost correct' and decided not to adjust my watch for a mere hours difference. Funny how these things work out.

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I noted two funny things today, both in a shopping mall in Welwyn Garden City. The first in the men's toilet, where pain relief tablets where being sold alongside condoms. What an excellent piece of marketing. You can buy both a condom and something to clear a headache, at the same time, so that when you get home, and your loved one pleads the usual incapacity, you can give her some medication, to solve the problem, whilst you slip the condom onto the beast. No excuses now, my dear! The second was in a jewellers, where Jan had taken watches to have new batteries fitted. The assistant is clearly having a problem with the second watch and spends a long time examining it with an eyeglass. Eventually, he lifts his head and says, "I think this is a wind up, I can't find the battery" Jan, a little shame faced, but quick as a flash said, "You're right, it is a wind up, sorry."