The above will probably upset a few of my feminist friends, but I thought that it was funny. An additional tip, - if you don't have any Post-it pads handy, you could always write her name on her back.
***
Part of the process of getting married in France is the requirement to have a blood test, so James, Pauline and I popped to the doctor this morning. Not realising exactly why, my understanding was that they would both need a test. Not so, said the stand-in doctor. Only the female, to check that she has antibodies against x, x and x. He said the names too fast for me to understand. He took the blood and said, get yourself immunised if anything tests positive. He stamped the certificate and that was it. Great, it saved me a planned trip to Sommieres.
Next stop was the flower shop, which really tested my patience. So whilst the choice, colour and size of flowers, postions, ribbons etc. was determined, I decide to kill myself outside.
***
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, crept up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest! Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the ranger didn't speak Spanish.
Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree at the back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'Up yours, gringo, I spit on your mother and your sister."
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