Only the good die young

I woke this morning thinking about Tony. He was my age and the first of my peers to die. But grief, he was young. I feel young (that's stretching the meaning of the word to the limit - Ed), and way too young to die. But something like this really brings it home. They say only the good die young, and Tony was very, very good. He was an extra special doctor and he spent his working life trying to save others at home and also abroad. He left his mark on the world and made me look puny in comparison. It was an honour and a privilege to know him.

The thoughts that passed through my head all morning related to vulnerability and sadness. I put vulnerability first because at these times of grief we almost always put ourselves first. My loss.......my sadness.....how could this affect me..............am I well........... what warning signs should I look out for..................oh, and I feel very, very sad for his nearest and dearest. Self pity, it's not a comfortable thought but I think that it's largely true. When I was young I remember being told that when we cry, we cry because we feel sorry for ourselves, and not out of a sense of sadness for someone else. When my 83 years old mum left yesterday, I was sad. Sad at the thought that I might never see her again. Me, me, me.

Anyway, whatever the rights or wrongs of any of the above, the world was a better place with Tony in it, and it owes him a debt of gratitude.