Cast your vote

Ah ha, our postal voting forms arrived today, in good time to get them back to England, so that we can get rid of that moron Brown.

I'm sorry to say that I had to hide Jan's form in the bin so that she couldn't cast a vote for the other loony left party.

As her principal carer, I did this to save her from herself. I'm sure you understand?

I'm sorry to admit that I've shown little interest in voting in the past but now that Brown has taken the country down the tubes I feel that I should do something, however small.

Pain relief

Jan complained of a headache this morning so, being the kind sharing person that I am, I pointed her in this direction.

He hasn't had the boat long!

That hurt!

After reading this article, this morning, Jan turned to me and said, "Stephen Hawking said that I shouldn't be talking to you."

Charming!

Keep it simple

As I mentioned to Jan this morning, one of the things that keeps me around is her bacon and tomato sandwich. There's nothing like it. It's even worth getting up for.

For all you foodies out there, here's the recipe. Grill several slices of Carrefour own brand poitrine fumée until they are just cooked (not crispy), whilst at the same time gently warming two tablespoons of tinned Italian plum tomatoes.

When both of these very special ingredients are ready, arrange them between two buttered slices of granary bread (or similar to taste).

Place plate on lap whilst watching something not very interesting in front of the television (being a bloke can't do two things at once) and savour whilst juices from the tomatoes run through your fingers.

The perfect start to the day.

Time on your hands?

If you really, really, really have nothing better to do then you can while away a few minutes looking at this.

Yippee

If you believe this then hopefully lots more earthquakes to come?

Ring any bells boys?

Some good luck

With tomorrow's flight from Montpellier to Leeds to see my mother cancelled and with the disruption likely to last at least a few more days, I decided to look at a flight in May. What do you know, but it was cheaper by 50 euros? Result.

Anyway, whilst on the subject of flying and good luck I'm reminded of this little story.

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

The Muslim replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

Paddy looked up, handed his drink back and said, "Cancel me drink, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Oil Spill Interview

You'd like to think it was a real interview but very funny nevertheless.

Golf or sex?

More on haircuts

Would Sir like the state approved cut and something for the weekend?

Get back on your skateboard

This kid has said he wants to climb Everest.

I maintain that anyone with a haircut like that is not emotionally suitable for such an arduous task.

He must be stopped! He'll scare the Sherpas.

UK Elections

More essential information for voters.

For followers of UK politics

You will need a valid UK postcode. The result might surprise you.

Email round robin letters

I received an email today as follows:

"As a rule I don't pass on email lists but this is a good one and worth keeping going.

Please pass it on to as many folks as possible. It has been circulating for some time now and it is estimated that it has reached 20 million people so far. We don't want to lose any names on the list so as soon as you have added your name please pass it on.

To show your support for Gordon Brown please go to the end of the list and add your name.

1 Mrs Sarah Brown.

2..........................."

Sorry

The thing I hate most about blogs is when they aren't updated regularly. I can't tell you how quickly I remove a blog from its current folder to archive when that happens. So in that vein you have no idea about the angst I feel when I don't update my own.

Finding something interesting or funny to say each day can be a real pain in the arse. So why do I do it and why do I care? That's an interesting question (only for you - Ed). I've written most of what I feel about living in France (and what I had for breakfast is hardly very interesting) so finding France related issues becomes more difficult. Funny is also difficult. It can be very personal and something I find funny one day might not be so funny the second (that's because you've already heard it you bozo - Ed).

Anyway, that's why I appreciate the blogs that are updated daily or at the very least frequently. So thank you to those that do.

A tail between his legs

Last year I mentioned that Max had been offered a shag and today was the day. Toni called and then brought his dog over to let them work their magic.

We were a little nervous because we'd (he'd) never been set up on a blind date before. She is a lovely looking dog and we 'introduced' them prior to leaving them with a bottle of wine and a packet of fags.

Well, did she want to know? She was about as receptive as I will be to voting labour. No way José. Even if all he wanted was sniff she growled at him. Poor old Max. Talk about leading a guy down the garden path. He was well up for it and she didn't want to know.

Ring any bells boys?

Calcotada

After a deluge last night I wondered whether today's calcotada would actually go ahead. It did.

With fourteen friends and family, calcots were first on the menu, followed by roast lamb and all the usual trimmings.

Ave had brought some excellent Spanish wine which, as I write, is still working its magic (if you get my drift). We had four different wines, three excellent ones from Rioja, Ramon Bilbao 2006, Vina Salceda 2006, Auctor Seleccion 2005 and, everyone's favourite, Torres Atrium Merlot 2008, from Penedes. Excellent.

Spanish fly

Paula, Ben, Kate, Ave and her good friend Raffi, all came up from Barcelona last night, this combined with our neighbours the Lloyds who arrived Wednesday means that we will have a houseful over Easter. Excellent.

It also means lots of good food and wine because they always arrive with tons of our favourite things and Jan cooks up a storm.

As I write, they're making Raffi's speciality, arroz negro, my very favourite fish dish, that I only get when with Spaniards or around Barcelona. Bloody excellent.

All this washed down with Vincent's, Vermentino which is even better this year. This man makes seriously good organic wines and it improves year on year. Nothing to complain about so far. Very bloody excellent.