Bugger, bugger, bugger. I looked at my watch, it was 02.15 (Tuesday morning). The couple next door made so much noise when they got to their room that I thought that I'd overslept and jumped out of bed. I couldn't believe it, a second night of broken sleep. Why are people so inconsiderate? To top it all, they then started! I could clearly hear them at it, with all the attendant grunting, groaning, moaning and squeaking bed. This went on for about 35 minutes, then peace. As I started to drift off, she started again. What is it with women? She kept saying, yes, yes, yes. I thought about banging on the wall and telling him to stop asking her questions! But who am I to spoil their fun and more to the point I didn't know how big he was (pun intended!) They finally calmed down at about 04.00. How did I know they were not married or hadn't known each other long? Ask yourself when you last had a 2 hour session. At 06.30 when my alarm went off I felt like shit. I need my 8 hours!
Forgive me, I've got to let off steam. Airport security is really pissing me off. There is nothing that is more guaranteed to get me wound up than the unnecessary and demeaning rituals that now surround air travel. It's all a huge nonsense, so unnecessary and could be handled much more sensibly. If you only have hand luggage, you're supposed to have your liquid toiletries, max size 100 mls each, in a 20 x 20 see through plastic resealable bag. We had a clear plastic bag that was rectangular rather than square, at home, that fitted the bill. What do you think the moronic little security idiot said to me at Nimes? Yes, I know its not bloody square, but what bloody difference does it make? Use some common sense. Look at the pictures of every single bomber or terrorist for the last few years. Do I look like them? Does that little grey haired lady look like one? No, she bloody well doesn't and neither do I!! And in fact out of the 150 white, middle class, boring bloody travellers there was only one that looked suspicious. Search him and bugger off, leave the rest of us alone. Well, at least I'd tried to get it right. Despite all the warnings the elderly, grey haired, posh old bird behind us was carrying a three litre, metal tin of olive oil (just like my Italian gran used to have), either she was an elderly, grey haired, posh old terrorist or she was bloody well made up or she was for real (actually she didn't looked like prime terrorist material to me, but then I only use common sense) and needless to say they confiscated it. Serves her right, how dare she carry a lovely tin of quality olive oil. What's the world coming to?
That was nothing! At Luton they now use body scanners. Not only do you have to put all your belongings through an xray machine (have you ever noticed how little attention they pay to the screen?), but you also have take off your shoes and belt and enter individually into a chamber with your hands in the air (yes, you read that right) and wait while they check out the size of your bits. Incidentally, my trousers started to fall down! We all got to stop this, folks. The men in grey suits are taking over and we are being subjected to humiliating, unnecessary and over zealous so called security checks. I'm going to start a protest. Please join me. I've just got to figure out what it will be. They have signs at the airport saying that they will arrest you if you shout at security staff, so they even try to stop you getting pissed off under threat of imprisonment. Talk about Big Brother!
***
Forgive me, I've got to let off steam. Airport security is really pissing me off. There is nothing that is more guaranteed to get me wound up than the unnecessary and demeaning rituals that now surround air travel. It's all a huge nonsense, so unnecessary and could be handled much more sensibly. If you only have hand luggage, you're supposed to have your liquid toiletries, max size 100 mls each, in a 20 x 20 see through plastic resealable bag. We had a clear plastic bag that was rectangular rather than square, at home, that fitted the bill. What do you think the moronic little security idiot said to me at Nimes? Yes, I know its not bloody square, but what bloody difference does it make? Use some common sense. Look at the pictures of every single bomber or terrorist for the last few years. Do I look like them? Does that little grey haired lady look like one? No, she bloody well doesn't and neither do I!! And in fact out of the 150 white, middle class, boring bloody travellers there was only one that looked suspicious. Search him and bugger off, leave the rest of us alone. Well, at least I'd tried to get it right. Despite all the warnings the elderly, grey haired, posh old bird behind us was carrying a three litre, metal tin of olive oil (just like my Italian gran used to have), either she was an elderly, grey haired, posh old terrorist or she was bloody well made up or she was for real (actually she didn't looked like prime terrorist material to me, but then I only use common sense) and needless to say they confiscated it. Serves her right, how dare she carry a lovely tin of quality olive oil. What's the world coming to?
That was nothing! At Luton they now use body scanners. Not only do you have to put all your belongings through an xray machine (have you ever noticed how little attention they pay to the screen?), but you also have take off your shoes and belt and enter individually into a chamber with your hands in the air (yes, you read that right) and wait while they check out the size of your bits. Incidentally, my trousers started to fall down! We all got to stop this, folks. The men in grey suits are taking over and we are being subjected to humiliating, unnecessary and over zealous so called security checks. I'm going to start a protest. Please join me. I've just got to figure out what it will be. They have signs at the airport saying that they will arrest you if you shout at security staff, so they even try to stop you getting pissed off under threat of imprisonment. Talk about Big Brother!
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