Leroy Merlin

I just love Leroy Merlin near Castries (for all you fellow anal types it's near Junction 28 on the A9). It's the biggest and best store of its type that you've ever been in. I could go there for a fun day out and just browse. When I'm in there, I find it difficult to pass an aisle without checking out what's on offer (unless it's girly stuff like wallpaper). Tools, electrical bits, you name it, I like it. I could spend hours looking at this stuff. (You're weird - Ed)

I even like the name of the place. It has a magical feel (they'll come and get you! - Ed) if you excuse the pun. I don't know if we were lucky but there also seemed to be lots of people to ask for help. It must be my female side but I have never been shy to ask for help in a store, or ask for road directions come to that. Nothing drives me more nuts that going or doing something without knowing all the facts.

Anyway, I was buying the chimney fittings for a satellite dish and the nearest employee was a woman. I'd always rather talk to woman than a man. A man is more likely to sneer at you. Didn't you know you needed a number 13 countersunk left hand thread thingy, you prat?

I told her what I wanted and she went bang, bang, bang, these are all the bits you need. Bryan, who gets an even bigger stiffy than I do in these places, couldn't fault her. And, she was a girl. What a woman, what a turn on! Excellent.