Getting to know you

Today is our anniversary. It is 10 years since Jan and I first met. Aaaaah, those were happy days. What happened? (She got to know you better - Ed.) The picture above is as close as I could get to something appropriate. (Like I said, she got to know you better - Ed.)

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I went to Quissac today to order the materials for the new bit of fence that I have to erect, but based on Max's recent behaviour it looks like I'm going to have to put up some more. His recent party piece is to clear the 1.5 metres fence near the bottom gate and go off for a wander. If he doesn't get fed up (and frankly I doubt that he will) then it looks like I'm going to have to erect some 2 metres fencing. It's always 2 forward and 1 back with Max.

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Will, sent me this. It's a very funny 1.5 Mb sound (wma) file. Guaranteed to make you laugh.

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We had a problem this evening, knowing where to eat. All the local restos were shut (we had this same problem last year) so despite the offer of a slap up take out (with extra toppings) from the pizza van, Jan decided that we'd eat in. Can't say I didn't try.

Gorges du Gardon II

In a drunken moment (there have been a lot of these in my life), I promised to show J, H, B & G (can't be bothered to write all the names - look at my face, do I look bothered?) the above walk. When I woke this morning it was raining. "Thank god," I said, "the walk's off." WRONG. This is over 3 kilometres of hard walking, with a 1 kilometre vertical section, up a cliff face. Kate, my TV heart throb, might do triathlons, but let me remind you that I walk the Gorges du Gardon. This must mean something to a super fit woman! (It probably would if your face wasn't purple and you hadn't had a coronary half way up - Ed.) Anyway, the bloody walk was on. We loaded the quivering dogs into the Jeep and set off. Max and Min are not good car travellers so they make it difficult to load them in the boot but determined not to be embarrassed by 2 poxy dogs, off we jolly well went.
Also, determined not to let Minnie drown in the fast flowing river we kept her on a lead until we started the climb up the other side. It was a bit tough on Min, never mind me on the slippery rocks, because we let Max run free, but there was no way that I was going to jump into the freezing cold water to fish her out, so a lead it was.
All went well, and all the more so because this time we found the correct path up the mountain which was much easier than last time but it still didn't prevent the old ticker complaining.

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I can't remember the last time I had a bath (or baaath as Jan would have me say). As a Yorkshire lad I was taught to use short vowels, non of your poncy loooong southern vowels. Do you say castle or caaaaaastle. Anyway, we rarely if ever have a baaaath nowadays, but after we returned from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, Jan's suggestion of a baaaaath went down really well. In fact, it was soooooper, very relaxing and we both had our pj's on at 18.46. I think that we can now be classified as 'officially old'.

Normal service will resumed as soon as possible

Bar, Geoff, Jill and Harry came for dinner last night. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but I've noticed recently that when we have certain visitors from the UK, Jan goes into 'typical English fayre mode'. Strange but true. So for dinner we had a lovely roast lamb meal. I can't quite figure out the logic of giving visitors to France something that they eat regularly at home but then, I'm just a bloke. To further add to my confusion, when Geoff asked Jan if she had developed a lot of different recipes whilst she has been in France, she said, *No." She changed this to, "Yes," when I spluttered into my soup and was questioned more closely by Geoff. Seems like I'm not the only confused person around here. (You're going to be a very hungry, confused person unless you shut up - Ed.)

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The latest Davis Cup score is CZ 7, F 7 and GB 9. I just thought that would like to know that I'm keeping my end up. The games get better and better and we're all competitive which makes it more fun. Roll on Thursday.

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The item on breakfast tv this morning was about babies' allergy to cow's milk. My attractive news presenter (let's call her Kate) was interviewing the 'professor' about the problem. She said, "Now tell me prof, are we talking about breast milk or bottle milk?"

As the whole point of the interview was centred on a cow's milk allergy the prof was slightly at a loss for words. Ignoring the stupid question he ploughed on and replied to the hapless Kate without a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

It looks like Kate and I will not be spawning intelligent children after all.

Sanglier

We're going to eat sanglier, wild boar. We had an old (well new actually) oven to get rid of because Jan didn't like it. We had offered it to Claudie, a lady in the village, for her new house (an old empty hotel with 400 m2 on the ground floor) in Aveyron, which she had purchased with her brother for 49000 euros. Whilst it was an exceptional price for such a large property with a lot of land, it is right on top of the Massive Central and it gets very, very cold up there in winter. Anyway, her hunter hubby, Jean Pierre, who famously got shot in his ass once, came to fetch the oven this morning and he said that they killed three sanglier yesterday, two on the hill opposite us and one elsewhere. By way of thank you they turned up with a carrier bag of sanglier meat. Claudie's first instruction was put it in the freezer for a minimum of 5 days to kill all the bugs. Great, sounds very appetising! Now all Jan has to do is figure out how to cook it. Probably with a lot of disinfectant. I can't wait.

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James and Pauline returned to England this afternoon and we're sorry to see them go. They both enjoy this part of the world and their enthusiasm for the lifestyle and countryside is refreshing. Max and Min got lots of walks as well, so I guess they will miss them too.

Wet and Dry

What a dramatic change in the weather this morning. At least I got the chance to survey the damage and make some repairs. The water in the garage was not reducing very quickly so it was just as well that we bought a wet and dry vac yesterday. These machines are great (it doesn't take much to keep you happy! - Ed.). The vac has a 29 litres capacity and by the time I'd finished I reckon that it had removed the best part of 80 litres of water. No wonder it wasn't evaporating very quickly. I bet you find it difficult to contain your excitement at seeing the picture of our new vac above.

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James, Pauline, William, Christine, Jan and I (strange but out of the five previous very English Christian names, one person is German and two are French) ate at Mas de Roux last night. And, whilst we are into statistics, five of us had the same fish and yours truly had a slab of meat. I should be able to read something into that? (Yeah, have you written your will? - Ed.)

Rain, rain, go away

If you want to know what I think is wrong in the UK, then look at this, it's quite funny.

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Boy, did it rain last night. We had flooding in the garden this morning and part of the drive and back garden were washed away. Tha garage and cave had flooded slightly and the pool has now filled up and will need attention again tomorrow. Assuming that is, that it stops raining. I don't understand why rainfall here is so violent.

Not really a thriller

Pierre the Poolman arrived as planned yesterday morning to show me what was involved in fitting the new pool cover and putting the pool to bed for the winter. There's a bit more to it than I imagined. At one point the cover, which has a narrow mesh running the full length of the cover to let rain water run through, was sitting over the pool, not secured, and started to fill with water. Now, the cover alone weighed something like 50 kilos and when it was weighed down with water as well, it was a nightmare to move. Still, we managed and eventually got it fixed in place. Thank god it's only once a year!

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You can call me an old cynic but when I read this I nearly choked on my cornflakes (actually it was Jan's home made muesli but cornflakes sounds better). The thought of Michael Jackson and a choir of 50 children in the same place can only be described as grossly inappropriate (but then these were the bad taste awards - Ed.). He was of course found innocent in a court of law and I have accepted that verdict (I'm thinking of lawyers here), but assuming that was the correct verdict, then there were an awful lot of people perjuring themselves. Why haven't they been prosecuted?

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I had a bit of a panic this morning. The Golf was in the garage having a new silencer fitted, and it wasn't going to be finished until this evening, Jan was out, and James and Pauline arrived this afternoon. How was I going to pick them up? William very kindly offered to give me a lift to the garage to see if I could get the car back a little earlier and it was amazing what his presence produced. His old mate and garage owner, Monsieur Calvetti, was suddenly able to bring forward the time that the car would be ready, to 11.30. Just like that.
Note: need to get William to drive me around a bit more!

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We had a bit of fun at dinner tonight by blind tasting five wines. James and Pauline are considering getting married in France next September, so for a bit of fun, Jan and I covered five different wines with silver foil and we all sipped away. It's amazing what you find out about yourself and the preconceptions that you have about individual wines. Try it, it's fun.

Oh go on, it's only a triathlon

I have a soft spot (or rather a hard spot) for one of the lady newsreaders on Breakfast TV. Jan allows me my little fantasy and doesn't really mind. This newsreader, I recently found out, competes in Triathlons, an exercise fest comprising a 1.5 Kms swim, a 40 Kms bike ride and a 10 Kms run. This lady is very, very fit. Anyway, there I was drooling over said lady this morning when Jan turned to me and said, "Listen buster, you wouldn't last 5 minutes. She'd eat you alive." Still, the thought was there.

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Bryan S popped by this morning to help and advise me on some fencing that needs doing and shave the bottom of a door. As with all these things if you have the right tools it takes no time at all. Bryan has the tools but more importantly the know how. I could have a go with the fence but I know I wouldn't do it correctly and I hate bodging jobs.

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We have never covered the pool in winter, allowing it to turn over and then cleaning it occasionally. Having read (but not being exactly convinced) that I'd be liable if a child broke into the property and drowned, we have decided to cover the pool this winter. There are some young children next door who I had to chase away last year so I'm not prepared to take the chance.

Davis Cup

It was Czechoslovakia, England and France playing tennis again this morning. Peter (CZ) was today's best player. His technique is not great but he is the youngest of us and reaches balls that lesser mortals struggle to get to. The current score is CZ 6, F 5 and GB 6. I bet you'll sleep better for knowing that.

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Today was the first of a series of UVA treatments for Jan. It's a little problem that we don't discuss openly, so now you're in on the secret. This treatment means that we have a 90 minutes round trip to Nimes for the best part of 10 minutes at the surgery. It's so quick that it's worth parking outside and chancing a ticket. Adds a bit of spice to an otherwise boring event.

Manon des Sources

Max and Minnie are difficult to control whilst they are on the lead because they pull so much. Max is much worse than Min, and, being the heavier dog, pulls with much more force. No amount of training seems to help. In itself not a major problem but it causes quite a severe strain on my lower back and therefore becomes very tiresome and painful. On the recommendation of Bryan S we purchased a couple of Halti head collars. We took them both out this afternoon and at first glance they seemed to work. Max had no problem with his and Min tried everything she could think of to get hers off. She failed. Fingers crossed we might have solved it. Thanks Bryan.

As an aside, Jan pointed out later that I'd attached their leads incorrectly. And there you were thinking that I was infallible (er, no we didn't - Ed.)

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We have finally got our hands on a subtitled copy of Manon des Sources, (it's the sequel to Jean de Florette) and we watched it tonight whilst choking on the fumes from our problematic fireplace. Excellent film - lousy fireplace.

Armistice Day

It's Armistice Day, a public holiday, and along with 25 other people from the village we troop off to the War Memorial to mark the event. This is strange behaviour from us because it's not something we ever did in the UK. Anyway, the 'foreign' contingent accounted for about 25% of the the turnout (four English and two Dutch). The photo above shows the official party (William and his deputy) reading messages from the French War Veterans Association. I'd like to understand why we have changed and why we do this. Maybe it's because we have more time on our hands or maybe we have developed a greater sense of public spirit.

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Talking about public spirit, we headed off to Sommieres for a wee drink and to meet up with Jill and Harry and Bryan and Gill. How come everyone's called Jill/Gill at the moment?

Worry less and do more!

So what does Jan worry about? North Korea, nuclear proliferation, Darfur, Iran? No, she didn't sleep well last night and spent a lot of time worrying about our luggage. As usual, we bought tons of stuff and knew that we were going to be overweight for the flight back. To solve the problem, we should have bought a cheap bag and checked two bags instead of one. And, as it happens, she was dead right to worry because Ryanair hit us with a £55 surcharge for our one overweight suitcase. No mercy. It was our fault entirely and you know what, worrying about it didn't help one bit?
Additionally we had to endure the now obligatory humiliation at security but it was very hit and miss. Some people had to remove their shoes, others did not, some removed their belts, others did not and, whilst I was there, the woman checking the X-ray screen was hardly looking at it. To me it seemed like a total shambles, a scatter gun approach, a knee jerk panic. It was totally unprofessional and a total waste of time and effort, never mind the affront to one's dignity. We need to get power back to the traveller. Vote for me and I'll make it happen!

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I don't normally talk about food, but Jan made her own, very individual, kedgeree tonight using a big chunk of oak roast smoked salmon that we brought back from Bleiker's (I mentioned them Wednesday). Normally, she would use smoked haddock, but she tweaked the usual recipe, used some curry powder, ground cardamom and fresh coriander as well as the salmon. Delicious.

Harrogate's the town!

There's something about Harrogate. From the architecture to the way the women dress, Harrogate oozes class. There are more top of the range Range Rovers, BMW X5's and Porche Cayennes here than in Chelsea (you're such a snob - Ed.). When you bear in mind that it is a dormitory town for Leeds then I suppose it starts to make sense. It's just one helluva nice place to be. I mentioned this to mum as we returned from the town this afternoon and she said, "Well you can put that in your clog." Bless.

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We ate at the General Tarleton, Ferrensby, Knareborough tonight, and jolly nice it was too. Very good food in a beautiful setting and definitely recommended. The only difference was it was 50% more expensive than the Sportman's Arms yesterday. But hey, the delightful Polish waitress made my evening.

Because we ate out tonight, mum has lots of food leftover. Does anybody want to go and help her eat it up?

Bleiker's Smokehouse and The Sportsman's Arms

Dial Up is soooo slow. I set up the connection when we arrived on Monday and it takes some getting used to when you normally use ADSL. I'd forgotten!

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Mum's table is always so interesting. Nothing straightforward here don't you know. Not ordinary marmalade, but Orange, Apricot and Amaretto marmalade. Not just honey, but Active UMF 10+ Manuka Honey. Not just strawberry jam, but strawberry and champagne jam. The list goes on.
There's nothing straightforward about my mother. Watching her eat her marmite and banana on toast for breakfast tells you that. Toast made from Dr h c A Vogels original mixed grain brown bread. He was a famous Swiss nutritionist (says the packet) and this loaf won a gold medal in 1954 (I knew it was stale). It is made from kibbled wheat (don't ask), kibbled rye and with no artificial anything. "But mum, it still tastes like cardboard!"

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At around 11.00 we headed off into the stunning scenery of the Nidd Valley. Mum has to pick up some smoked trout from Bleiker's Smokehouse, Glasshouses, Nr Pateley Bridge, HG3 5QH, 01423 711411. As ever mum has great taste because this place is recommended by Rick Stein as one of his food heroes. The staff there were outstanding in their friendliness and helpfulness. This is typical Yorkshire hospitality which is so lacking in others parts. Jan and I bought a lot of stuff to take home. Roll on Christmas.

On our way over to Glasshouses we passed near or through many villages with lovely and unusual names, Hampsthwaite, Killinghall, Blubberhouses, Kirby Overblow, Burnt Yates, Bedlam and Smelthouses, to name but seven. The Nidd Valley where men are men and women kick start jumbo jets for fun. Anyway, needing a good pint of beer, I asked for a recommendation for lunch from one of the lovely ladies in the smoke house. Quick as a flash she said, "For a great lunch and good beer you need the Sportman's Arms in Wath."

What an excellent recommendation. The Sportsman's Arms, Wath-in-Nidderdale, Nr Pateley Bridge, 01423 711806, is outstanding. I'd be writing for days to tell you how good the food was. This is a superior restaurant with food of the highest standard. The bill for three with wine was £83. Very highly recommended. Miss this place at your peril.

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We headed back to Harrogate afterwards and finished off a perfect day with a little retail therapy. Mnnnnnnnnnn.